If I were a boy

I’m tired of men getting offended from women who have an opinion.
I’m tired of having to censor or filter myself when I’m speaking to a ‘man’, but not having to think twice when it comes to my words reaching the ears of a woman.

And why is it that men take whatever a man says to them, as ‘man-to-man’ be it a curse or five. But if a woman should point out a minor mistake, well who is she to have a voice? Where did she come from, who gave her that right?

Bros can banter and yell. They can throw words back and forth, then the next second go out and enjoy a nice meal, play a game of ball.

When a female tells a man what he’s lacking, what he’s fallen behind on, it’s her fault. She shouldn’t have spoken, should have kept quite, let it go. Let it be. Understand.

He has his reasons.

A women cannot have her own reasons.
Her frustration does not count.
No she must silence her voice.
Quench the fire that is building up inside of her chest.
Plaster a smile on her very face.
Wink, and say that’s fine.


I’m tired of men telling women what they can, and cannot say.
Tired of men claiming to love women, but only loving the parts they select.

Don’t they know that women come in one single package, not meant to be picked at.



And I'm tired of being told that the strength of a woman, is in her silence.

And have men forgotten that they are half of a woman.
That they drank their mothers cells.
Quenched their thirst from the very water of her womb.
That their mothers organs were the cushions they rested their heads on.
Have they forgotten, that they grew and came to form inside of a woman.
Pushed out of a woman.
Fed from a woman.
Screamed, and cried for that woman.

I shouldn’t ask if they have forgotten, for most of them have.

But why? And what of the girl who stifles her own opinion.

So as to not harm the ego, of that superior man?

I may forget, but I will always remember

And I may not always remember what your first job was.
I may forget, quite often that you hate the violin.
It will likely slip my mind that you hate having anchovies in your salad.
But I will always remember your favorite song.
I will never forget that, your favorite animal is the cheetah for the way it appears so fierce, but is the most gentle of big cats.
I will always have in my mind, the words that best comfort you.
I will always know that you turn over in bed at 3:30 am, every day to check the time.
There is not one moment, that your smell will not be a memory away.
There will never come a day, where your laugh won’t be my favorite sound.
I may forget the date of your next doctors appointment,
but I,
I will never forget the puzzle pieces that make up
you.

I Believe

I believe in nature, and trees.
I believe that a breath of fresh air is more healing than all the pills in the world.
I believe that you shouldn’t speak unless it’s helpful, kind, or true.
I believe that silence is more beautiful than noise.
I believe that hugs make all the difference.
I believe in smiling.
I believe in radiating warmth.
I believe in sharing your sandwich with the child whose mother forgot to pack theirs.
I believe it’s better to give than to get.
I believe that for the most part you get what you give.
I believe that every day you wake up with a choice.
I believe that before you escape to dreamland every night, you should count your blessings.
I believe that you should be thankful every morning you open your eyes.
I believe in being gentle, and sweet.
I believe that natural is always better, and pure is best.
I believe in yoga, and taking deep breaths.
I believe we will all get what we deserve in the end.
I believe a peaceful heart is the greatest blessing.
I believe that my thoughts rule my life, and I will choose to think only good things.
I believe that what I have is enough, and what I will get is what I’ll need.
I believe that true love has the power to fix anything.

What do you believe?

Intuition

    Intuition and the reasoning behind it has always been something that both intrigues and confuses me. I believe that we were all born with qualities that are meant to protect and shield us, however excess external noise and energy clouds our judgement.

    Intuition is by definition, “the act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition.” The word to focus on here is rational; while there may not be any tangible reasoning behind our understanding, it does not make it any less real. The reason many of us dismiss our intuition is due to lack of evidence, or fact. Sometimes we may feel a certain way, but not have anything to support this feeling so we ignore it. We will generally find a way to talk ourselves out of whatever we were feeling, and move in favor towards real-life evidence.

    For example, we may meet an individual and immediately feel a sense of unease towards them. In that moment the unease we feel may be our personal intuitions way of letting us know this is not a good person for us to personally be around or directly associate with. However this same person may be extremely close to individuals around you. We then switch to facts and tell ourselves if everyone around us has a good relationship with this individual, why shouldn’t we? This leads to us giving our intuition, and initial feeling a backseat to our logic and facts.

    More often than not we end up regretting our decision to ignore our initial feeling of unease towards this person. A conflict, or shocking action from that person will leave us wishing we had not second guessed ourselves.
   
    I want to stress that our personal feeling of unease does not necessarily mean that the individual towards which we are feeling these emotions is a bad person. It simply means that they are not the right person for us to be around. All of us have different personalities, experiences, and surroundings which shape us into the unique individuals we are. We cannot expect to click with everyone. Often times our intuition is letting us know that the person before us simply isn’t the right type of person for us to be around, but it has no definitive reflection on others.

    I consider intuition to be one of our inherent human senses. Something we have been born with, however much like our other senses have the ability to diminish overtime, so does intuition. Consciousness and inherent insecurities, the inability to trust ourselves gets in the way and distracts us. In modern times we are constantly bombarded with messages of how we should feel, act, dress, speak, etc. We not only get these messages from our peers, and family, but also from media. All of this is difficult to digest, and as a result overwhelms us. It causes us to become distracted from our internal voice. We choose, often unaware, to mimic the behavior of others, and us such disregard our own potential path.

    However, the facts remain that more often than not, we regret not trusting our initial feelings. It is also true, that some of the most successful individuals in the world, got to their points of success simply by listening to their gut.

Below is an excellent video which explains intuition, and the wisdom behind it. Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine. He describes intuition as “being in touch with the wisdom of the body.”

I encourage everyone to begin trusting themselves. Walk your own personal path. Listen to your internal voice, and understand that only you truly know what is best for you. This means that sometimes people will not agree with you, or support you. However, if you are listening to the wisdom within, you will be following what is right for you.

Intuition like our other senses has been given to us for a reason, to understand life on a deeper level. Do not allow the many messages from the world to cloud your judgement. Believe in yourself. Only then can you find your internal peace.

Thank You for Leaving

Thank you for leaving.
Thank you for walking away so easily.

I’ve learned that I didn’t need you as much as I thought I did.
In fact it turns out I don’t need you at all.
I was lying to myself all this time.
Claiming to need you to be happy, when all along happiness was within me.
Happiness isn’t about the country you’re in, the city where you fall asleep, or a person.
Happiness is inside of us all, begging to come out, screaming to be given attention.
But it’s almost like we enjoy our suffering.
It’s almost as if we take some sadistic pleasure in witnessing our own demise.

I equated my happiness with yours.
I told myself that without you, I had nothing.
I made silent promises to myself, that my life without you in it, would have no light.

I spoke words to myself in the dead of night.
I whispered in the darkness that my life since you came in it was complete.
That you were my calm.
You were my peace.
I carved it in my heart.
I carved it over and over, etching it in so deep that I finally believed it.

But in my foolishness I believed a lie.
I thought it was romantic.
Whimiscal.
Maybe even optimistic.

But I was wrong.

All of what I had learned to feel was within me all along.
And now that I’ve tasted that strength
Felt that peace
Known that type of calm

I know that I can reach it again

Through leaps, and bounds, and inner reflection.
Through the realization that within me are embers begging to be coaxed into a fire.

Through all of this I know that I’m all I need.

Thank you for leaving.

Proof

Sometimes I think I imagined it all

That it was something I played out in my head

Maybe you told me you loved me in a dream

And in my desperation I woke up

And I wanted it to be real so badly

That I made it real

But then I flip through the many albums of us

I pick out the photos where love is all you can see

Those photos are my proof of what was real

That your hand did once enclose mine

That your fingertips did brush against my cheek

That for a swift moment we spoke more with our eyes

than words could ever have said

I hold those photos close to my heart

Because maybe in my darkest moments

I can convince myself that my memories are made up

But what those squares of image hold

Are brighter than the blackest darkness

They are my proof that you were once here

That you were once mine

That you really did love me

If even for a brief and beautiful eclipse of time.

If I could

If I could
I would list you all the things that make me love you
But there are no words for the way the blue touches the sky at morning light.


I would try to explain to you that it's not just your laugh that enthralls me, but the very tone and pitch of your words that enchant me.

But even a sailor will never understand the very depths of the ocean it sails.
And even I don't understand all the ways and how's for why I adore your existence.

I just know that the final sigh I breathe before dreamland takes over, is filled with love for you.