Dear A, Part Two

Dear A,

    I’m sorry I left the last letter off so abruptly. But I’m sure you’ve gotten used to my antics. You know me best; when I’m overwhelmed I just shut down, and I leave.

    Isn’t it ironic then, that I’m the one that is still left here.
   
    I’ve moved to a new apartment. The other one was just filled with too many memories. I considered staying in it, to preserve our time together. But every corner reminded me of you. Every wall held some kind of story. The entire place was a tomb of us. It seemed sadistic. Almost like I was torturing myself by staying there, and I’m not that morbid trust me. I went apartment hunting last month, and found the perfect place the same day I set out.

    You know me, I was never the picky type. Easily pleased and what not. It was always you that could see better, it was you that could always envision more. But you’re no longer here, so I’m back to my old ways. Good enough is fine by me.

    I’m sure you’d hate it. The hallways are too narrow for your taste, and the windows are hardly up to your standards. There’s a balcony however, which I’m sure you’d approve of. I can imagine you setting it up with a table and matching wicker chairs, with extra fluffy seating. You’d tell me we could drink our morning coffee and afternoon tea from there, taking in the breathtaking view.

    The view is nice, I’ll admit. I find myself sitting out there, especially in the late afternoons when I’ve gotten back from teaching a class. I just stare out into the vast sky,  focusing on no particular spot of greenery. It’s nice not to focus on anything particular. It gives me a sweet escape, even if only for a few brief minutes.

    My students, by now have heard of what happened to you, to us. It’s a small town, and a smaller university. That was always what I said I liked about the place, but now I’m reconsidering. But I can’t imagine leaving this town, leaving it all behind. Nowhere is home anymore.

    Do remember the day you and I were walking back home from the university? We took the long way, just to walk through my favorite park. We were sipping on some fresh lemonade with extra mint. I decided to begin playing the question game with you...

    “A!!!! What would you do if I dumped this lemonade all over you? Right now? In front of all of these people?”

    You squeezed my hand tighter. I looked up at you, losing myself in your big golden eyes for the countless time.

    “I would wait till we got home, and make you regret it.” You said with your tinkle of laughter.

    “Regret?! Regret what! How!!!! Do you dare me?” I said, and I took a step closer to him, holding my drink above his head, teasing him.

    
    He looked up at the drink and smiled. “Try it and see.”

    Just then our friend Matthew spotted us, and called out our names.
   
    I never got to find out what you were planning on carrying out for revenge.
I miss our walks through the park. I miss randomly bombarding you with baseless questions and threats. I miss the moments when you would hold my hand even tighter, just when I thought our hands would merge into one.

I miss everything.

Until next time,

Your B