Lists of Right and Wrong

You used to list all the things that were right about me.
All of your favorite curves
Your favorite quirks
The things that you deemed best.

Now you fill the days with all that's wrong with me
My habits
My words
My thoughts and concerns

The quirks that you once worshiped
Have become the very things that keep you away

You tell me all the things that I should change

The worst part isn't you doing this
The worst part is my willingness to bend
To your every whim and desire
Your opinion has consumed me

I find myself staring at mirrors more often now
But instead of a reflection
All I see is the flaws that have become so apparent to you

Does my nose curve out to much
Is my smile
Have my dimples become offensive
Are my teeth a bit too bright

Should I cover my smile
Should I keep it just for you
Is my laughter a bit too much
Has it come to embarrass you

I've come to cave into myself
To want an escape from myself
To want to unzip myself
Step out of me
Step into someone you'll want to see

That's the person I now want to be

You've come to make me doubt myself
To hate myself
To second guess my every move

But deep inside I know this isn't right
That you once listed all the right things
And those right things still exist

They just aren't to your liking now

That's your mistake

I will not unzip myself
Step out of me
Adjust me
Become something other than me

To please someone who lives off of lists of me
Right and wrong.


I will not.