When Winter Left

Did the cold keep your evil in
Did the summer thaw it out
Were you waiting for the sun
To scream it all out
To shout

When the light broke the ice that kept it all in
Did you feel the release
Was it what you had been waiting for

From the start of the coldest days
You were my warmth
You were my light
My own personal supply of heat

When my shivers took over
It was you that calmed them
You settled the nerves within me
You sent them away
You told me they’d never again have a place to stay

When your true nature began to show
I lied to myself
And the lies felt good
I told myself it was me
My imagination

That my sensitivity was the cause of it all
All of the pain
All of the tears

My eyes leaked
Dropping liters of salt water at a time
I produced more tears from within the depths of me than I had in a lifetime
A lifetime of self-doubt and worry had been nothing
My previous pain had been mere experience
Executed to prepare me for the days that were to come

And now I’m sleepless
Not from my restlessness and excitement of what is to come
But from the fear of knowing that nothing is