You Can't Escape Your Destiny

I'm restless at night
I toss and turn bundling up and stripping down
I wiggle and move, sway and twist
But comfort and rest do not come
Listlessness and duress take over
At these points thoughts of you take over
True memories and exaggerated thoughts fill me
Dreams and hopes consume me
I dream that one day I will fill you with the well of love that overflows within me

I wish that I will be able to express to you in more than words that which binds me to you
I want to express to you that you are more to me than what you understand yourself to be

You are my soul and my fire and you are the cool rain that falls upon my overheated components that make me and often break me 


I think of when it all began and I can't remember when I knew it was


I wrack my brain to try and force it to dig within it's deep crevices worn down with steady flows of cells of me

I want to pinpoint the moment when me became us and I became we

But I fail at this
Every night
And within me I know it is because
There was never one moment in which I knew
That you were everything
That you were my sprite and flight and the light within me and outside of me

I remind myself to be honest with myself and acknowledge
That the time when I knew that you were you came in a collection of intuition and gut

That I sensed you before I met you
That I knew from blinks and half-heard phrases escaping from you
That all along I could feel your threads escaping from within your deepest membranes reaching out for mine

But I was shy
And I was weary
And I was tired of regret
So my threads dug deeper within me
Burrowing deep inside
Sending up superficial barriers
Sending out signals of warning

And in turn your deepest cells of intuition and gut slid back within you
Understanding that time was their friend
Time would uncoil my threads to reach for yours
Eventually


And so deep within yourself you knew
And even deeper within myself I accepted
That fate is inevitable
That the twists and turns we both took were meant to meet

Our paths crossed over a series of times until the road was worn thin
And collapsed beneath us both
Forcing us to acknowledge the fate that had been avoided
And now the time we wasted is being multiplied ten fold

We find time to make time
To stretch 60 seconds into more than just a minute of what we make of it
We make it into more than what is given
We know that life is often selfish and love can be so cruel
But we burrow within ourselves to escape ourselves to make life and love pure

And when I look at you I know
That you are all that is pure
You are all that is good
You are kindness and warmth
And now your membranes have finally stretched enough to grasp the edges of mine and have pulled them ever so gently towards whats more
Bound and tangled now
In organized order


We are each others exquisite mess