If I were a boy

I’m tired of men getting offended from women who have an opinion.
I’m tired of having to censor or filter myself when I’m speaking to a ‘man’, but not having to think twice when it comes to my words reaching the ears of a woman.

And why is it that men take whatever a man says to them, as ‘man-to-man’ be it a curse or five. But if a woman should point out a minor mistake, well who is she to have a voice? Where did she come from, who gave her that right?

Bros can banter and yell. They can throw words back and forth, then the next second go out and enjoy a nice meal, play a game of ball.

When a female tells a man what he’s lacking, what he’s fallen behind on, it’s her fault. She shouldn’t have spoken, should have kept quite, let it go. Let it be. Understand.

He has his reasons.

A women cannot have her own reasons.
Her frustration does not count.
No she must silence her voice.
Quench the fire that is building up inside of her chest.
Plaster a smile on her very face.
Wink, and say that’s fine.


I’m tired of men telling women what they can, and cannot say.
Tired of men claiming to love women, but only loving the parts they select.

Don’t they know that women come in one single package, not meant to be picked at.



And I'm tired of being told that the strength of a woman, is in her silence.

And have men forgotten that they are half of a woman.
That they drank their mothers cells.
Quenched their thirst from the very water of her womb.
That their mothers organs were the cushions they rested their heads on.
Have they forgotten, that they grew and came to form inside of a woman.
Pushed out of a woman.
Fed from a woman.
Screamed, and cried for that woman.

I shouldn’t ask if they have forgotten, for most of them have.

But why? And what of the girl who stifles her own opinion.

So as to not harm the ego, of that superior man?

I may forget, but I will always remember

And I may not always remember what your first job was.
I may forget, quite often that you hate the violin.
It will likely slip my mind that you hate having anchovies in your salad.
But I will always remember your favorite song.
I will never forget that, your favorite animal is the cheetah for the way it appears so fierce, but is the most gentle of big cats.
I will always have in my mind, the words that best comfort you.
I will always know that you turn over in bed at 3:30 am, every day to check the time.
There is not one moment, that your smell will not be a memory away.
There will never come a day, where your laugh won’t be my favorite sound.
I may forget the date of your next doctors appointment,
but I,
I will never forget the puzzle pieces that make up
you.

I Believe

I believe in nature, and trees.
I believe that a breath of fresh air is more healing than all the pills in the world.
I believe that you shouldn’t speak unless it’s helpful, kind, or true.
I believe that silence is more beautiful than noise.
I believe that hugs make all the difference.
I believe in smiling.
I believe in radiating warmth.
I believe in sharing your sandwich with the child whose mother forgot to pack theirs.
I believe it’s better to give than to get.
I believe that for the most part you get what you give.
I believe that every day you wake up with a choice.
I believe that before you escape to dreamland every night, you should count your blessings.
I believe that you should be thankful every morning you open your eyes.
I believe in being gentle, and sweet.
I believe that natural is always better, and pure is best.
I believe in yoga, and taking deep breaths.
I believe we will all get what we deserve in the end.
I believe a peaceful heart is the greatest blessing.
I believe that my thoughts rule my life, and I will choose to think only good things.
I believe that what I have is enough, and what I will get is what I’ll need.
I believe that true love has the power to fix anything.

What do you believe?

Intuition

    Intuition and the reasoning behind it has always been something that both intrigues and confuses me. I believe that we were all born with qualities that are meant to protect and shield us, however excess external noise and energy clouds our judgement.

    Intuition is by definition, “the act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition.” The word to focus on here is rational; while there may not be any tangible reasoning behind our understanding, it does not make it any less real. The reason many of us dismiss our intuition is due to lack of evidence, or fact. Sometimes we may feel a certain way, but not have anything to support this feeling so we ignore it. We will generally find a way to talk ourselves out of whatever we were feeling, and move in favor towards real-life evidence.

    For example, we may meet an individual and immediately feel a sense of unease towards them. In that moment the unease we feel may be our personal intuitions way of letting us know this is not a good person for us to personally be around or directly associate with. However this same person may be extremely close to individuals around you. We then switch to facts and tell ourselves if everyone around us has a good relationship with this individual, why shouldn’t we? This leads to us giving our intuition, and initial feeling a backseat to our logic and facts.

    More often than not we end up regretting our decision to ignore our initial feeling of unease towards this person. A conflict, or shocking action from that person will leave us wishing we had not second guessed ourselves.
   
    I want to stress that our personal feeling of unease does not necessarily mean that the individual towards which we are feeling these emotions is a bad person. It simply means that they are not the right person for us to be around. All of us have different personalities, experiences, and surroundings which shape us into the unique individuals we are. We cannot expect to click with everyone. Often times our intuition is letting us know that the person before us simply isn’t the right type of person for us to be around, but it has no definitive reflection on others.

    I consider intuition to be one of our inherent human senses. Something we have been born with, however much like our other senses have the ability to diminish overtime, so does intuition. Consciousness and inherent insecurities, the inability to trust ourselves gets in the way and distracts us. In modern times we are constantly bombarded with messages of how we should feel, act, dress, speak, etc. We not only get these messages from our peers, and family, but also from media. All of this is difficult to digest, and as a result overwhelms us. It causes us to become distracted from our internal voice. We choose, often unaware, to mimic the behavior of others, and us such disregard our own potential path.

    However, the facts remain that more often than not, we regret not trusting our initial feelings. It is also true, that some of the most successful individuals in the world, got to their points of success simply by listening to their gut.

Below is an excellent video which explains intuition, and the wisdom behind it. Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine. He describes intuition as “being in touch with the wisdom of the body.”

I encourage everyone to begin trusting themselves. Walk your own personal path. Listen to your internal voice, and understand that only you truly know what is best for you. This means that sometimes people will not agree with you, or support you. However, if you are listening to the wisdom within, you will be following what is right for you.

Intuition like our other senses has been given to us for a reason, to understand life on a deeper level. Do not allow the many messages from the world to cloud your judgement. Believe in yourself. Only then can you find your internal peace.

Thank You for Leaving

Thank you for leaving.
Thank you for walking away so easily.

I’ve learned that I didn’t need you as much as I thought I did.
In fact it turns out I don’t need you at all.
I was lying to myself all this time.
Claiming to need you to be happy, when all along happiness was within me.
Happiness isn’t about the country you’re in, the city where you fall asleep, or a person.
Happiness is inside of us all, begging to come out, screaming to be given attention.
But it’s almost like we enjoy our suffering.
It’s almost as if we take some sadistic pleasure in witnessing our own demise.

I equated my happiness with yours.
I told myself that without you, I had nothing.
I made silent promises to myself, that my life without you in it, would have no light.

I spoke words to myself in the dead of night.
I whispered in the darkness that my life since you came in it was complete.
That you were my calm.
You were my peace.
I carved it in my heart.
I carved it over and over, etching it in so deep that I finally believed it.

But in my foolishness I believed a lie.
I thought it was romantic.
Whimiscal.
Maybe even optimistic.

But I was wrong.

All of what I had learned to feel was within me all along.
And now that I’ve tasted that strength
Felt that peace
Known that type of calm

I know that I can reach it again

Through leaps, and bounds, and inner reflection.
Through the realization that within me are embers begging to be coaxed into a fire.

Through all of this I know that I’m all I need.

Thank you for leaving.

Proof

Sometimes I think I imagined it all

That it was something I played out in my head

Maybe you told me you loved me in a dream

And in my desperation I woke up

And I wanted it to be real so badly

That I made it real

But then I flip through the many albums of us

I pick out the photos where love is all you can see

Those photos are my proof of what was real

That your hand did once enclose mine

That your fingertips did brush against my cheek

That for a swift moment we spoke more with our eyes

than words could ever have said

I hold those photos close to my heart

Because maybe in my darkest moments

I can convince myself that my memories are made up

But what those squares of image hold

Are brighter than the blackest darkness

They are my proof that you were once here

That you were once mine

That you really did love me

If even for a brief and beautiful eclipse of time.

If I could

If I could
I would list you all the things that make me love you
But there are no words for the way the blue touches the sky at morning light.


I would try to explain to you that it's not just your laugh that enthralls me, but the very tone and pitch of your words that enchant me.

But even a sailor will never understand the very depths of the ocean it sails.
And even I don't understand all the ways and how's for why I adore your existence.

I just know that the final sigh I breathe before dreamland takes over, is filled with love for you.

Lists of Right and Wrong

You used to list all the things that were right about me.
All of your favorite curves
Your favorite quirks
The things that you deemed best.

Now you fill the days with all that's wrong with me
My habits
My words
My thoughts and concerns

The quirks that you once worshiped
Have become the very things that keep you away

You tell me all the things that I should change

The worst part isn't you doing this
The worst part is my willingness to bend
To your every whim and desire
Your opinion has consumed me

I find myself staring at mirrors more often now
But instead of a reflection
All I see is the flaws that have become so apparent to you

Does my nose curve out to much
Is my smile
Have my dimples become offensive
Are my teeth a bit too bright

Should I cover my smile
Should I keep it just for you
Is my laughter a bit too much
Has it come to embarrass you

I've come to cave into myself
To want an escape from myself
To want to unzip myself
Step out of me
Step into someone you'll want to see

That's the person I now want to be

You've come to make me doubt myself
To hate myself
To second guess my every move

But deep inside I know this isn't right
That you once listed all the right things
And those right things still exist

They just aren't to your liking now

That's your mistake

I will not unzip myself
Step out of me
Adjust me
Become something other than me

To please someone who lives off of lists of me
Right and wrong.


I will not.

The Good Ones Go Crazy

Be calm in your heart they say
Tread softly through your paths
Whichever you may take
Be dignified and silent they say
Speak calmly and plain
We're told not to be ourselves
And judged for being so
We're forced into boxes
Confined into square pegs
And why does this happen
Why does it start and end
With ripples of high tide
High preaching
High laws
We are meant to submit and obey
Punished for having individual thoughts
Actions
Motions
The good ones go crazy
Confined in small rooms
The bad ones grow higher
Multiplying
In glass towers of high and mighty haughtiness
And the good ones will go crazy
The good ones will submit
But the best ones will push back
And spark a revolution.
If only they could find the strength within.

When Winter Left

Did the cold keep your evil in
Did the summer thaw it out
Were you waiting for the sun
To scream it all out
To shout

When the light broke the ice that kept it all in
Did you feel the release
Was it what you had been waiting for

From the start of the coldest days
You were my warmth
You were my light
My own personal supply of heat

When my shivers took over
It was you that calmed them
You settled the nerves within me
You sent them away
You told me they’d never again have a place to stay

When your true nature began to show
I lied to myself
And the lies felt good
I told myself it was me
My imagination

That my sensitivity was the cause of it all
All of the pain
All of the tears

My eyes leaked
Dropping liters of salt water at a time
I produced more tears from within the depths of me than I had in a lifetime
A lifetime of self-doubt and worry had been nothing
My previous pain had been mere experience
Executed to prepare me for the days that were to come

And now I’m sleepless
Not from my restlessness and excitement of what is to come
But from the fear of knowing that nothing is

Dreams & Day Flights

It hurts me to say

To admit to myself 

That often even I 

Don't know what I mean

Don't know what my thoughts are telling me 

Don't know what to make 

Of all my dreams and day flights 

I wish I knew just what 

All my messages were saying 

Telling me directly 

But all I know is the few words and lines 

That throw themselves at me 

That force me to bite 

And I wish I was more 

And I wish I could absorb 

All that is around me 

All that is being said 

But all I can do is listen 

Sharpen my ears and hope

That my eyes and cells are grasping 

More than even I know 

I hope my visions 

My past and present collections 

Of thoughts, and truths 

Are able to emerge from me 

In ways even I know not 

And I hope one day

Far beyond the one from now 

I'm able to rock into the truth I've settled in 

And understand 

Know and feel 

All that was said and seen. 

Material World, Be Kind

In a day where material possessions are often more prized than memories I'd like to remind everyone to be more aware of what matters.

So often I find people associating materials and presents and things with love and affection. Although it is always nice to have nice things, it's far more important to know nice people. To be a nice person. To have nice memories. To be able to lay in bed at night content with your actions and the actions that have been made towards you. Obsession with things can lead to so much negativity in your own life. Greed. Envy. Jealously. And all of it unnecessary. All of it avoidable.

Be grateful for what you have. Be appreciative. Be truly and consciously aware of every blessing you have been given by the universe.

Say thank you. Not just to the people around you but to the universe. Show thanks for even the smallest of things.  I'm talking about being grateful for the glass of water that you drink every day. I've found that when you're consciously and truly appreciative of the smallest of things, the bigger things seem to show up naturally.

The universe works in a funny way, but I believe that every single one of our actions, no matter how small strongly contribute the outcomes of our lives.

Think about it. Absorb that concept. A concept so finely detailed that all conscious and unconscious actions lead to subsequent results within your life.

Throwing a piece of trash on the floor, rather than into a trash can will inevitably lead to something unwanted being thrown into your life. 

Be aware. Treat the world as you would want to be treated, as you would treat a loved one. Treat it purely, tenderly. Treat it with affection, and love.

Don't be so focused on having the latest this or that, focus instead on your worn pair of jeans, and your favorite shoes that may have one too many scuffs.

Be greedy, and you will never, ever have enough. Be grateful and you'll end up having so much more than you ever envisioned.

Be kind, be gentle. Truly never act with the intention to hurt. Treat others how you want to be treated, even if they may not deserve it. It is not for your benefit, but for the benefit of yourself, for the total sum of the world.

We have enough negativity on this planet. We have enough heartache in our lives. We need not contribute to the emotional pollution of our world. 

You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself. To be the best person that you can be. Not for others, for yourself. It is not between you and them, it is between you and your spirit. When you do that. When you really focus on yourself and your personal life and look away from the lives of others...you will be filled with peace. And peace is something that can never be purchased.

The Depths of You

Close your eyes.
What is it that you see?

If you were to ask me
I'd tell you I see a shadow of you
I'd tell you even in my deepest corners of unconsciousness I'm consumed by you
I'd explain to you that even when I'm not speaking to you
All of my words are for you
That the movement of my lips are in accordance to yours.

That in utter silence, I long for you.

That when I know you're in pain, my body aches for you.

That your bad days filter into mine
That your sadness hovers above me like the whisper of a storm to come.

When you tell me not to worry, it's all I can do not to crumble.

My temperament has become synced with yours.
Believe me as hard as I may try.

With you I reach new peaks of joy.
I lose touch with gravity
I no longer recognize reality

You're the only reality I want
The only thing that sustains me

If I had to I would survive on the very depths of you.

You Can't Escape Your Destiny

I'm restless at night
I toss and turn bundling up and stripping down
I wiggle and move, sway and twist
But comfort and rest do not come
Listlessness and duress take over
At these points thoughts of you take over
True memories and exaggerated thoughts fill me
Dreams and hopes consume me
I dream that one day I will fill you with the well of love that overflows within me

I wish that I will be able to express to you in more than words that which binds me to you
I want to express to you that you are more to me than what you understand yourself to be

You are my soul and my fire and you are the cool rain that falls upon my overheated components that make me and often break me 


I think of when it all began and I can't remember when I knew it was


I wrack my brain to try and force it to dig within it's deep crevices worn down with steady flows of cells of me

I want to pinpoint the moment when me became us and I became we

But I fail at this
Every night
And within me I know it is because
There was never one moment in which I knew
That you were everything
That you were my sprite and flight and the light within me and outside of me

I remind myself to be honest with myself and acknowledge
That the time when I knew that you were you came in a collection of intuition and gut

That I sensed you before I met you
That I knew from blinks and half-heard phrases escaping from you
That all along I could feel your threads escaping from within your deepest membranes reaching out for mine

But I was shy
And I was weary
And I was tired of regret
So my threads dug deeper within me
Burrowing deep inside
Sending up superficial barriers
Sending out signals of warning

And in turn your deepest cells of intuition and gut slid back within you
Understanding that time was their friend
Time would uncoil my threads to reach for yours
Eventually


And so deep within yourself you knew
And even deeper within myself I accepted
That fate is inevitable
That the twists and turns we both took were meant to meet

Our paths crossed over a series of times until the road was worn thin
And collapsed beneath us both
Forcing us to acknowledge the fate that had been avoided
And now the time we wasted is being multiplied ten fold

We find time to make time
To stretch 60 seconds into more than just a minute of what we make of it
We make it into more than what is given
We know that life is often selfish and love can be so cruel
But we burrow within ourselves to escape ourselves to make life and love pure

And when I look at you I know
That you are all that is pure
You are all that is good
You are kindness and warmth
And now your membranes have finally stretched enough to grasp the edges of mine and have pulled them ever so gently towards whats more
Bound and tangled now
In organized order


We are each others exquisite mess

Dear A, Part Six

Dear A,

    I know that this is important for me to get out, but sometimes the memories overwhelm me.

    It seems I am easily overwhelmed now.

    The other day I was drinking tea on the balcony, finishing up some grading, when I heard a sudden knock on the door. I was so startled, I managed to spill the entire contents of my teacup all over myself. It ended up being the building manager, coming by to drop off a paper regarding the maintenance being done on my floor.

    I guess after everything that happened, it’s not really surprising, it’s just hard for me to accept this part of myself now. The overly anxious part of my personality, that seems to be a permanent fixture now.

    I've stopped seeing my therapist. Partly because I was tired of being analyzed, but mainly because I was tired of being talked at. Being told how I should be coping, how I should start the healing process.

    It’s difficult to start a process, I know will have no purpose for me. You need to have something broken to heal, and I’m not broken, I’ve just died a little inside. And there is no cure for that. No one can bring back to life, what has died within me. What died, when I lost you.

    I think these letters are helping me. It comforts me to know I’m writing these just for you, and that they are meant for no one else. That no one else will be reading them, or so I hope.

    You were always my secret keeper, and I guess at least that hasn’t changed.

    You asked me once, why I never told my close friends anything too private, or personal. I tried to explain that it was because you were the only source I ever felt the desire to confide in. That once my words were spoken to you, I felt so free and light that I saw no purpose in relaying anything to anyone else.

    You kept me light for so long, I guess it’s only fair that I feel so heavy inside now.

    Maybe it’s life’s way of keeping balance.

Until next time,

Your B

No Words

I could call it love
Or lust
I could call it affection
Maybe even adoration
Maybe I worship you just a bit

All I know is, when you look at me
When my eyes meet yours
Time stops
When the sound of your voice
Reaches my ears
My heart beats slow,
to an unidentifiable pace
When your smile,
lights up the shadows of your face
My soul knows peace
And there are no words for that.

Before You

It's not like I didn't have my own story of life before you.
But you were a brand new chapter.
A crisp new turn of a page.
You were a breath of fresh air.

My days turned to nights because of you.
Time seemed to stop when I looked at you.
My eyes closed slower just to catch a longer glance of you.

Now when I breathe around you, I inhale deeper
Just to absorb components of you.
I want my cells to reform for you.


I want to take myself apart
Remove all the parts that aren't right for you
Restructure me for you

All for you.

A Rant on Gossip

     Everyone gossips, it’s a fact of life. You get frustrated, you get overwhelmed. You need to vent. You simply need to get all of your pent up frustration out. But when the gossip turns malicious, that’s when we’ve got a problem.

    You see, confiding in your close friend, family member, etc. is normal. “Venting” to everyone you get the chance to speak with is not.

    Why do people feel the need to discuss things that do not pertain to them? Or affect their lives in any way? Are their lives really that boring that they just have to discuss the lives of others? If so, to those individuals, I recommend subscribing to a news outlet of some sort, or even better becoming acquainted with a hobby.

    Being a listening ear is completely acceptable, it’s human nature to have to talk out what’s been bothering you. It’s one of the characteristics of a good friend, to be able to lend a listening ear. Give advice when appropriate, and generally be someone your friend can vent to. But that’s where it stops. When your friend comes to you for support, because they’re so upset they just have to get it all out, that’s where it ends. It is not your right as the listening ear, to go and relay this bit of “juicy gossip” or “interesting news” to another friend, who will in turn relay it to another, until the entire East Coast is aware of what has occurred.

    It is your job as a listening ear to LISTEN, and not in turn SPEAK to someone about the subject other than your venting friend.

    The sad thing is, this type of issue should have ended in high school, where petty gossip and idle talk was a dime a dozen. But when this issue continues on into University, and afterwards, well Houston, we have a problem.

    It’s these same people who repeat information, and go onto embellish it who are so often complaining about drama, and “bad friends”. It’s these same people who are evidently so bored with their lives that they can think of nothing better to do than spread negative information, and subsequent bad energy into the universe. These are the people who fill their days with bad habits, just to get by. Who love themselves as much as they hate themselves.

    I’m no Mother Theresa, but I live by the general rule “Do unto others, as you would have them do to you”. This means that if I do not want others gossiping about me, I will not gossip about others. I will not repeat information just because it’s interesting, or will spur conversation. If I have nothing to talk about other than other peoples lives then there’s something wrong. I would like to think that I’m educated enough, and decent enough to discuss other matters.

    I can’t change these people, all I can do is pray for them, and send positive thoughts their way. I sincerely hope the best for all of the individuals whose lives are seemingly so empty and boring, that they are led to such empty discussions. I feel sorry for whoever raised them, and I feel even more sorry for the children they will raise.

Rant, done. 

Dear A, Part Five

Dear A,

    It’s our anniversary today. Not of the day we got married, but of the day we fell in love, and knew it.

    I always cared more about this anniversary, than the one that everyone else had celebrated with us. Today's date is one just you and I shared, that no one else had known about.

    You often claimed not to be romantic, but the simplicity of our celebrations are what touched me the most. I wonder if you’d be able to guess my favorite anniversary celebration.

    It was the first time we were going to celebrate it since moving away from home. Since boarding the plane, and taking the leap into our new life, completely away from our families and friends. But we were oddly calm, entirely at peace with the decision we had made. We had acknowledged that difficulties that we would have to face, but knew it was going to be a mere bump in the road.

    We were starting new chapters in our lives, and we had turned the page together.   I was so excited to start my new job at the University, and you couldn’t wait to meet all of the partners at the firm you were joining. We knew that this life was what we needed at this point of time. There would be plenty of time for everything else later. Why wouldn’t there be?

    The day of our anniversary was a few weeks after we had finally finished moving into our new place. The walls were freshly painted. Do you remember how much you hated the grey color that I chose for the accent wall? I still think you secretly ended up loving it. Everything was done, except for a few minor additions that had yet to been decided.

    I remember the day exactly. You called me from work, around the usual time that you did, and told me you’d be home early. You told me we could have our lunch at home, but afterwards the rest of the day was planned. I hung up with a smile on my face, and hurried to finish up preparations for the meal I had been planning.

    You came home, we ate, and then had tea by the window that we always opened for fresh air.

    Suddenly you grabbed my hand and pulled me up, “lets go.”

    “Where are we going?”

    “I’ll give you three guesses!”

    I remember concentrating very hard, “hmm the park??”

    “Nope.”
   
    “okay give me a clue!”
   
    “That’s cheating B, you have to guess!”

    “I am guessing.” I pouted and concentrated really hard.

    “The lake!!!!” I was so sure about this.

    “Wrong again.” You said as your lips brushed my fingertips. “One more guess.”

    By then we had left the apartment. We were walking in the hallway, I clapped my hands when I suddenly realized where we must be going.

    “The campus!!” I was so sure, for some reason that seemed perfectly reasonable to me.

    “Uhhh, B, I know you love your University but it’s not exactly romantic to take you to your workplace on our anniversary.”

    I pouted, “Fine.”

    You ended up taking me to the zoo of all places, which thinking back I should have guessed. I had always loved visiting the zoo of any place we visited while on vacation.

    Remembering that day is difficult for me to do. I’ll continue in my next letter.

Until next time,
Your B

The End, of the Greatest Good

The following poem is dedicated to my beloved city of Philadelphia. The city I became me in, during the four most important years of my life. Philadelphia breathed life into me, when before I was surviving on shallow breaths. It taught me more than just what I learned in University. It taught me about life, and loss, and love. It gave me friendships I’ll have forever, and memories that will always be in my heart. I couldn’t have asked for more. Philly, I love you.

You gave me a life, I didn’t know I was missing.
You breathed life into parts of me I didn’t know were existing.
You pumped knowledge into parts of me that had been walking unaware.
You explained to me life lessons that I’d go onto share.
You were gentle and forgiving.
You were helpful, and you were kind.
You gave second chances, and third warnings.
You open my eyes, and made me realize, I had previously been blind.
You laughed at my naivety.
You pushed me harder to explain.
Parts of life that I had never understood.
Parts of friendships that were never good.
You made me understand that if life could, it would.
That if it was time, I’d get it.
If it wasn’t I wasn’t meant for it.

That if I wasn’t meant for it.
Something better would come.
Something better would get done.
By me, and by us.
By life if I would just trust.


I learned to trust you.
I learned to love you.
I learned to adore the dirtiest corners of you.
I lusted after you.
I warmed to you.
I grew in you.
I became me for you.

You taught me to myself.
You gave me to myself.
You gave me more than I had ever imagined.

But all good things come to an end.
And you were the end, of the greatest good.